In less than two months, Wonderhubby and I will be celebrating our business turning 3! Can you believe? Celebrating the time we chose to cluelessly jump into business and give it a red hot go. And to be honest there have been many, many moments of wanting to quit. Many many moments of digging our feet in, and powering on, and many, many moments of L E A R N I N G.
It’s been great. It’s been horrible. It’s been quite the experience, and I can stand here today and say that I am really glad we’re still all hands in.
And we quickly discovered that business has many highs and many, many lows…really quite the challenge, but we love a good challenge right!?
My man has carried the dream when I’ve thrown it away, and vice versa. Mostly we take the lows in turns…it’s worked out quite well in that sense. When one is down you just tell them to shut up, get up and keep going…kinda…bit more nicer than that usually…sometimes not.
Until this year…I decided I was over the whole thing and it was all too hard. And when Nic was down, I stopped doing my usual, ‘keep on going’ power talk and exchanged it for a pity party feast with him, with a side of some not very nice things to say. I had made up my mind it was the end, time to quit and I had aspiring fantasies of moving anywhere north and hiding. Nic, however, found a stubborn switch somewhere on his body, and as low as he was, his determination began to kick some mighty fine ass.
I, however, was determined to ruin his mojo, (because I was right of course) and I buried super duper supportive wifey mode far, far away into the depths of my woes.
So mature, I know.
And for weeks, I was soooo mad at him. For weeks, I grumbled and complained at him about everything business, and everything he was doing to try and conquer. I was mad when he walked through the door well after dark every night. I was mad when ever he muttered a word about business (unless it was about quitting) and my attitude was so horrible, even I couldn’t stand it. I took every opportunity to verbally tear down our business to him. And for weeks I ignored that nice little nudging inside me quietly telling me to just darn well SUPPORT him and back him.
Until one night we were strongly discussing business again, when he turned to me and softly said, “I just need you to support me in this.” And I realized what a right out turd I had been. Since when should it ever have to come to my husband asking me to support him. I should just automatically have his back.
So I did. I changed my woeful ways overnight. And at first I had to be really intentional about it, but I was determined that even if I didn’t agree with him, I was going to get beside him and support him, and believe in him and his vision, and let him know that through everything, I have his back, because that’s what you do. And the real clincher – I was going to do it with a joyful heart – otherwise there was going to be no point in doing it at all.
So I began going to work every day instead of just my usual one day a week when we had a babysitter. It meant dragging three kids with me and working around them. Every. Single. Day. It was biting my tongue when I wanted to complain about how freaking hard that really was. It was serving him whenever he needed it, to help him keep on top of everything. It was dropping things I was doing when I wasn’t at work to go and help when he needed me to. It was getting into his world instead of judging him for what I thought should be happening, and seeing the reality of what really was from where he stood. It was encouraging him and telling him he was doing a great job. It was noticing when he had an exceptional day and telling him I was proud of him. It was telling him I was proud of him when he had a bad day.
It was backing him 100% because one simple thing…I love him, and I will never stop believing in him and what is inside of him.
And suddenly everything began to change.
I watched my man begin to really flourish. He began to exceed my expectations of him. I watched anger fall away from him, and although tired, his spark that I hadn’t seen for ages in him, began to return. I watched him change from feeling defeated and hopeless to blaring out vision and excitement for the future. I watched joy beam from him again, and his fun side peak out from behind the stress.
I watched our business explode before our eyes.
And once again, many lessons were learnt and I realized how great the effect of believing in someone and supporting them can be. Really.
I know he’ll read this…because he always reads my blogs…because he supports me in what I love to do. And he’ll most likely secretly love that I was wrong (for once) and that he was right in sticking to his guns and continuing along a path he walked alone, while he patiently waited for me to get my head out of my stinkin’ toot hole.
Because two things that I would want anyone who would ever read this to know, are these…
Firstly, please don’t forget, or underestimate – but value the price of fully supporting your other half. Or anyone for that matter. Even if you don’t want to. Support them, back them, encourage them relentlessly, speak life, do what you need for them to know that you are there 100% all the way. Through the rivers flowing with tuna eyeballs and grogans, AND the rivers flowing with the glorious milk and honey.
Lastly, Do not give up. One of my most favourite sayings is this: The moment you’re ready to quit, is usually the moment right before a miracle happens. Don’t give up. The tipping point…it’s usually also the turning point. And I really do get it. Sometimes it’s just that hard you may long to be comatosed…but I never want to live my life wondering what could have been if I hadn’t quit. Things do get better, and they will for you. The bitter moments, are really just the scary and necessary stepping stones to new territory and fresh waters.
Hey Husby, I’ve got your back.