I have to admit, I like google…a lot. I use it…a lot. It comes in second to my Mum because you can ask it A N Y T H I N G. And no matter how storming outrageous your question for google is, you can guarantee that someone, somewhere has already asked the same stupid thing. It makes you feel less stupid really doesn’t it.
So my toddler smelt like a vanilla pancake today…allll daaaay. Every time I picked her up – it was like I was cuddling a fluffy pancake (quite nice really), and every time I opened her door after she had a nap, pancake smell wafted out. It was so strange.
So naturally I went to bed wondering why on earth does she smell like this. I mean, it’s bloody hot here…sweat smell, I would understand, poo, yea not really unusual. Pancakes…it was different you know. As I was laying in bed, the thought of googling did occur to me, just being honest. But I wouldn’t do it because that is a really stupid question to ask google right? Turns out it’s been asked before. I know, because I actually did end up googling it. Also turns out I shouldn’t have googled it, because there was some really nasty answers in there. Like mutated, diseased answers. Answers that, true to form of googling stupid stuff, leave you freaking out and more confused.
You know what else people have googled? Ok, too much stuff to write in a blog, but have you ever googled, “Why does my toddler smell like fish?” “Why do they smell like mud?” “Why does their poo smell like fish?” (Possibly because the ate fish for dinner last night…just a wild stab there). “Why does my child lick me?” I will not google that last question, but my child is a mother licker so please tell me if you know the answer to that. Or my favourite, “Where do lost socks go when they go missing?” Yes Mr Google, where DO they go?
You know what, I almost feel sorry for google.
Getting overloaded with random, crappy, stupid questions every day.
Like, “Am I pregnant?”
Apparently google is a pregnancy test now too? Pretty sure unless google had something to do with the insemination, google would clearly not know the answer to this. But people ask this question, I know, because I googled it once. Please don’t ask me why. I don’t know. Probably something to do with rash hormones and trying to self diagnose. You know when you have every pregnancy symptom under the sun, but no positive test…It really does your head in. Because google knows, that if you’re not pregnant than you must have some sought of awful uterine plague that is destructive and…..Wait…it must be menopause…20 years early. You freak out. You make plans to start your family now or complete your family now, because in a few years time it might be too late.
But we all do stupid stuff right?
Did you know that there is even a website dedicated to stupid google questions? I kid you not guys….I know, because I googled it. Maybe even my questions have made it on there.
So here’s some advice from me.
R E L A X….Don’t do it.
Don’t google that question. Because google knows, if you do, you will probably leave your web browser with an incurable disease, an iphone 6 that can’t bend and rubbing cow saliva on the bald patch on your head.